bubble3814

Hey Jason hows it goin?? I dont have a quote.. Except for.. Boys Suck

No I really mean it, Boys suck. I love Derek an all, just that Boys suck..........

So hows the New Year for you? Its pretty good for me.. It brought me a Boyfriend, a Lisence in one week or so, Another 2 weeks off of school (heck yes), ums Some other stuff that is oobertastically amazing.   I really miss Chadderz though. Tonight It just really hit me, and I started to cry. Im not PMS -ing so it really has no effect of that.  The thing is, My friend Greg House is such a sweetie. He reminds me so much of Chadderz its not even funny..  We work together and just the things he says or the way he acts, its like he's a young Chad but the present chad at the same time. if that made sence. He Says "sweet Dreams Britt" to me at night on msn.. and I say "sweet Dreams Gregorith"...... I dont know wats with me and all those nick names too. But Anyways, he just reminds me so much of Chadderz and it just hit me when he said "sweet dreams".. It was something that Chadderz always said to me. I know its just a couple of words, but it was like our thing, we didnt leave unless one of us said Sweet Dreams.  Even if it was the afternoon and we were chatting on msn, one of us would say "Hey go on msn tonight and if ur buisy its just so we can say Sweet Dreams" 
God I miss that guy. He's one of my bestest friends. He wrote me 2 letters so far. It must be hard for him to write to everyone because there's so many people.  I have written him twice too but my letters are really long. I guess I have mor time to myself though and that way I can write more to him. Im also a chatter box when it comes to missing people. I miss him so I tell him everything.. Only thing I didnt tell him was that I have a boyfriend. Im kinda hesitating if I should mention it or not because Someone told me not to talk about relationships too much or he will be feeling bad and wanting to date someone.. I donno.. I cant not tell him though because we tell eachother everything.  Thats one of my everything I should tell him;...................... Koreyan, Question for you... Should I tell Chad I have a boyfriend? Just curious.

But thats parta my missing chad moment.. On to I MISS BRADZOR:

I miss Bradon too, but atleast we getta chat on msn and stuff. I made him a dvd with a few slideshows on it. It has most of us in it too. It was fun to make. I just said It three times and It drove me nuts. I hate the word it. Just right now. I think its (<--that word again..) because I took a sleeping pill and im very tired and feel like Im either sleep drunk or mental (in a non offending way I hope) but seriously. I should get to sleep
I have an exam tomorrow morning and I didnt study.. Eff Im going to fail. I tried to study but it sucked so I didnt want to.. Oh well It happends??.. Noope.. My math I think I failed. Oh well I dont need math. Just kidding I do. But I hate math. It sucks. Maybe its my attitude that makes me fail, but I fer sure know I hate my stupid math teacher for leaving us. that whore. No lies on that word either and Im only being nice. The school board is stupid for making her quit 8 days before exams and it kinda brought some of us to a failing mark so I dont think its fair. Oh well she's off teaching at Comp and I dont think it wil be any easier.   She's so irrational that one. Stupid broad
Im just kinda angry right now, And later on I wont mean all of the rude things I say.. Just cuz im angry right now and rreally tired. I think im going to bed right now. Talk to you later Jason
Sorry for my retarded entry. Im just zonked

Lovess 
<333
See u later
or I guess Type in you later. I donno

As Chadderz always says,
Sweet Dreams


 

Hey Jason, hows it goin??  MERRY CHRISTMAS!! wow It's not Christmas but I thought I would just say it.. Seems how I havn't written much lately.  I am so excited this christmas.  Every one was very pleased with their gifts. I must say we all did a pretty damn good job at picking them out.  Gramma came up in the afternoon and we spent the day with her and had dinner with her. Uncle Neil and Sandy came also. 

I am so excited. K Ready??>.. KK.. For Christmas, I got.... A new Cell Phone!!  The Razor. I was not expecting that AT ALL! and I also got a Video Camera from my parents (oops.. Santa)... A beautiful Snow globe from Justin that has a Saxophone in it and it plays "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong.. That song always makes me cry and it was the perfect gift. I opened it up and winded it up then All of a sudden I just burst into tears.. haha. It was so wonderful. He gave me a big hug.  I also got lots of movies! I am so excited to start watching them. They are all my favs.  Actually every movie is my fav pretty much haha. 
I got lots of Socks and a Manicure set! WOW.    umm... I got another Bed warmer for my Mattress because my old one was completely shot... Daddy went all over town looking for it too! haha.
I was happy mom and dad and Justin liked their gifts too.


Oh Yeh... I finally HAVE GUTS~

I made this card up for Matty.. I dont remember if I already explained it but I will again. 
When Matt was still workin at the store, I would often go over and visit him to make sure he was doin alright.  The last time I saw him, he had said to me that he was picking up a book.. The book was called THE GAME and it was how to pick up women. Now I really didnt believe him, because I thought he was pretty much just putting me on the spot. I went home and looked it up.. There is a book called THE GAME haha. But, I decided to make him a book.     
It was called THE BOOK how to pick up nice girls... and on the inside it said   "JUST ASK ME!"   and on the back in super small letters I wrote  "A book made by Brittany" and under Brittany I put the word HINT with a few underlines. WOW I HAVE THE GUTS...
Bradon dropped it off for me today. I am almost not worried one bit about it because Sometimes a girl has to make the first move eh?  Mom claimes he made the first move by mentioning it and I agree, so I just think I am making Half of the first move going onto the second haha.

Right now I have the worst feeling in my stomach.. My friend's name on MSN is "Gone to kill myself +In the garage_"
and her picture says "its easy to pull the trigger"  
I really dont fregin know what to do. I called her house to see if she was there, but her mom said she was buisy... The thing is I dont know if i can really do much because I live here and she lives in E-town. Its far away. Sometimes I just dont get that gurl because she seems like she's EMO, well I think she was for a while, but I still dont get her. I just hope she is kidding about all this "Going to kill myself".. I am in such a wreck now. Mom knows too.  But I am just going to let it sorta slip off my hands and just let it go by me like this is another Eli Phase.?

Quote of the Day:  "Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass."

Hey Jason wats up?  I just got back from Babysitting.. And I just also realized that Christams is in 2 days. Holy Smokes. definately going by way too fast. I should actually be getting to bed because I work in the morning.  Which reminds me I was up late lastnight on the computer as well. I havn't done that since Chad left. That also reminds me, I have to send out Chad's  Christmas Card.. I made one for him haha. I really want him to see it too.  It took me atleast a week to make it even though its not that fancy. The reason why it took me so long to do it was because I would work on it later in the night around bed time. But It's cute I like it. 

Wow was I ever shocked that I stayed up till 2:30 am yesterday. I was talking to Derrek on MSN. He's such a sweetie. P.S-->Greg and Derrek aren't fighting over me anymore. Thank GOD. that was such a flipping hard situation and I felt so guilty over it.. Its all good now. Derrek spilled every bit of his guts out to me lastnight. Sure as heck had no clue it was in him. We talked since 9:30pm-2:30am.  Like I said, I only did that with Chadderz. 

Babysitting was mmm ok tonight. I was absolutely tired and I was falling asleep when I was supposed to watch the kids.... :O  I know! <--Bad babysitter.. haha. no I had the kids yell at me if I fell asleep. Its not like they're too young to be alone or anything. they're 10 and 6. Smart flippin 10 year old  too haha.   We pretty much just sat around watching movies all night.   I am starving right this instant. Starving.. I need a banana or water or something. Does a banana wake a person up? I cant remember.. I need something that will still make me as tired as I already am.

Aww Poor Bradon failed part of his Flight test. He was going to take Sarah out for a Birthday flight tomorrow. ... That's his new girlfriend. She's amazingly better than Nicole was. Even Bradon can't figure out what he saw in her. haha. Well I know she was a bit of a BITCH. no one in the family really liked her.. haha. Oh well, her loss. They're not dating now.  Like I said, Sarah is waaay better.
But it's sad, he was all excited to write his test and I see him tonight when I get home and right away I know something is wrong and I ask.. He said "Britt I failed my Flight test!"
I feel so bad for him. Hopefully he will get it next time. 

I can't believe its almost the new year. Bradon (Bradzor) is going to be off to College right away too. He's gonna miss it here. We're gonna miss him too. 


I should seriously get something to eat right now. Im too lazy, that's sad eh. But watever.. I will get something NOW.
BE RIGHT BACK OK?....
....................................
kay im back. but I just wanna go eat my toast now 

I will talk to you later!
xox
Sweet Dreams    (sweet dreams Chadderz)

i misses him



nite Jason

Hey hows everything going?? Once again my silly password has changed for this site. I swear I dont know how to make it my own.  If I forget to log out, then I have a new Password and I have to send myself the e-mail for it. Arg its frusterating. Sorta!

Jason, last week and this weekend was Bonkerz.  It all started off on Tuesday.. We had Jazz band after school.  I am becoming close friends with a guy named Derek. NOTHING more I swear! but We're tight u know? Like best friends sorta, but just good friends. Anyways. My other Friend Greg is pretty good friends with me too. My point is, They both like me. I didnt know what to do at first when I found out. I seriously dont like any of them back. My mind is set on Matty and that's what it will be for a long time till I end up going out with him.  Greg Works with me too, and I was kind of wondering if he liked me because he's been acting kinda weird lately. not in a bad way but like he Likes me.   Greg thinks I flirt with Derek. (eww) but no, I just think I am bubbly with everyone. That's why my name is BUBBLE3814!!  <--haha caught on?
I like to be happy and positive and Greg's way of thinking I flirt is being happy and positive... buddy's got it all wrong there.   On Wednesday Greg asked me "So, how's it goin with your Boyfriend to be??"
I was like "what the heck are you talking bout??"     
Greg kind of shot the question at me like I knew the answer. I sure as heck didnt. He was talkin about Derek and Me.  I told him we are friends Nothing More Nothing Less.  (and It's fregin true)  It was his way of saying "Do you like him?? What you Dont like Me???"
On with my point though, Derek has been making Greg Jelous by saying he has been hanging out with me during the morning and playing the piano for me.. Arg stupid boys. They frusterate me. They are Fighting over me and I hate it!  I've never had to deal with this situation before and its making me cranky.   Then I lied to Greg and told him I had a Boyfriend which I really didnt but I had to get him off my case.  But I also had to tell him that I lied to him.. I felt bad. I dont tell lies. (that's a lie because everyone tells lies)<--Big lies though. That was a big one for me. I told Gred that I didnt have  a bf and he was kinda glad but dissapointed at the same time, because I lied to him and he was thinking I was free..

Still on with the story.... I was babysitting on Thursday for someone and I was texting like 4 people. My Friend Evelyn said to me "What!?? Since when did you have a boyfriend and not tell me??"  Greg had told her.. So I had to explain the whole situation to her. She was in the middle of what was going on too.  Greg asked me out on Thursday.   I said NO. but nicely. I was up till like 11:00 trying to think of words to say to him. He was putting me on the spot big time. I hate when people do that to me.  Actually Evelyn told me Greg liked me and then Greg texted me and asked if Evelyn told me.... I was playing Stupid and said "No, what did she have to tell me??"    (because I knew but I really didnt want to make it worse)
He messaged me back and said   "She must have lied to me.."
I didnt respond.  
He messaged me back again and said "Or are you just lying and saying that she didnt tell you because you dont want to text me back?"

I had to say to him "Greg I'm really flattered but...."
and I left it off as that.  He said "It's ok, you dont have to like me the same way I like you, I understand.  umm. Still friends?"
I said "Absolutely, Till the end Greg.  You're an awesome friend"
He said thx and I just said I would see him tomorrow morning..
But that was the worst thing I've ever had to do to someone. Break their heart.
I worked with Greg on Saturday and I was being Ignored and stuff, but I really didnt care. 
By the end of the day though, he was... being the same old greg. I thought he was better and just let it blow past his head. I was kinda wrong.   The staff party was the same night and he wasn't going.  Greg Texted me and asked me to scratch his name off the list and I said I would.  (yadda yadda)  then Erin Picked me up and we went to her house to get ready.. Meanwhile Greg was texting me and askin me if I went yet and stuff. I was like Watever, Just normal thinking. But Before I said I have to go.... he said "I love you"
ARGGG I didnt text him back. I really didnt want to!  Like What the frick do you say to someone who likes you and you dont like them withought breaking their heart or hurting thier feelings???  He's just kinda backed off now I hope though. But dang Nammit. It's oober frusterating.

 Derek is rubbing in Gregs face that I like to hang out with him and that I like him and stuff like that. Now Greg hates Derek and I dont want that to happen all because of me!  BUT I FEEL LIKE I STARTED IT ALL WHEN I KNOW I DIDNT!!  It really isnt my fault that they have to be stupid. 
Derek thinks I like him too. But that's because Greg's been like "so I think she likes you. That sux because I want her to like me" and ERRG!

That's my Blurb on those dumb boys.

(but it is sorta sweet?)


Today was the Cancer Cut off.  Lots of my friends cut their hair for it!.. Poor Avery was very sad though. They didnt do a nice job with cutting it. the layors were all backwards and she was sad!. I hope the hair dressers fixed it today when she left the school.  This was a school event by the way. It was held in the Caf and wow What brave people!.

I can't believe it is almost Christmas.. I am soo not ready..
I want to do something for Matt this Christmas.. hehehehe
Matty told me about how he was ordering this book online and had to pick it up. It was called something like "The Game" and it was a book on how to pick up women.   I couldnt help but laugh but I eventually told him that He doesnt need a book to tell him how to act around a lady because if she likes him for who he is, than they are the perfect match.. (HIM AND I BLEW IT AGAIN)  
But What I wanted to do for Christmas, was.... I wanted to make a little book of my own for Matt.. It's gonna be called 
"How to Pick Up Women"     and on the inside it is going to say  "Well ASK ME!"

hehe I dont know It sounds silly but I really want to do that because maybe it will happen!  I told mom not to be allarmed if there was a big present under the tree this year for me. I told her that I asked Santa for Matt and he was going to go over to his house on Christmas eve and stick him in the big red bag and stuff him under my tree, so in the Morning I would wake up and SURPRISE! he'd be there.  mom laughed at me and said not to say that around Brenda!
Do you think it's an ok idea to do that for him?? (the Book idea thingie?)

YAY I am almost done my movie for Videography.  Sooo excited!  It's about the Breakfast club only its called "The Brunch Club" haha. I love it! The thing that sucks though is that I have to make it 2 minutes long only and It's going to be over 2 mins... I really have to beg Mr Lawson to let me make it atleast 2 mins and 15 seconds long??
It's good enough for it I think!?

So I have been waiting to get a letter back from Chadderz...... Althought I really felt weird wen I sent mine because I felt like I was saying "Oh I miss you Chadderz Come home!!" but I dont know.  I was only going to tell him I missed him on my first letter just so I could get it out because I didnt get to tell him how I felt before he left.. I made him this really nice Christmas Card. Took me atleast 3 days altogether to do the coloring and gluing and cutting and stuff. I worked pretty hard on it. I better send it out soon too.   I have to send him a letter again soon. Even if he doesnt get to send me one right away, I will send him one just so he knows I want to wish him a Merry Christmas!.    It is the first Christmas withought him here you know!
It's going to be hard, but in a way not really.. I have been forgetting about him more and more each day. That is really crappy that I am doing that but I think because he is far away and I dont talk to him much, I am not going to be as close to him..  I used to talk to him every night. EVERY night! and when We didnt talk for one night, one of us would be worried about the other because we usually did talk every night.

That's my story.. Sorta. I have more but I dont wanna bore myself to sleep.

I finished Christmas Shopping Amost! haha Spent the money I made but I get to gain it all back from working. Glad I have a job this year.! Justin is too. WOW he bought Bradon a Stereo and lots of other nice things for people. I was amazed that he could afford it. haha. 
I cant wait until Christmas holidays because I want to see my sister.. Maybe I can get down there for atleast a couple days?? Bus perhaps? or Fly? I dont know but I really want to get down there and See her before the new year. It sure will be exciting if I could do that.

I'm really tired now and I think I should head off to bed.. It's not that late but I had a late night evey day last week and weekend. Does Catch up fer sure. 
I will talk to you soon! hopefully sooner than later!
xoxox
 
As Chad would always say,
Sweet Dreams

as I would always say,
"just wait till we're married"

and he would say,
"Yes lets get married tomorrow"

and we would both laugh and I would say
"sweet dreams Chadderz"

and he would say 
"sweet dreams Brittany"

Hey hows it goin?  So I'm not really tired.. I just want to write. I havn't written an entery in forever. I never have time anymore. But when I do, It's like I dont want to write.. So I am pretty much forcing myself to right now haha.

I'm actually really tired. Not much to say.. 

We're getting a new dog tomorrow!! Mom and Dad are in Calgary picking him up. His name is Captain Tuxedo.  They're staying with Wayne.  Its the same kind of dog we have now. Like Fally Poo.
Tomorrow night My Concert band is playing up at the school for our Christmas concert.  We're playing "How the Grinch Stole Christmas",  "The Phantom of Darkness",  "Nativity", and umm.. Oh Yeh "Sleeping Place in the Stars".
They're pretty cool tunes I must say.

Wow I am not even close to being ready for Christmas this year. I havn't done any Shopping or anything like that. I feel like I'm screwed for this year.. I need to get out and shop. 

I seriously dont have much to say.

I got into an argument with this chick at School.. I dont know If I said anything about it..   Her name is Lenora. She's just such an annoying little (not going to say it) but yeh you get the point..  One day she was freaking at Joey over a stupid little pen issue. He wouldnt give the pen back when there was like 10 mins left of class and she was mad at him because he was writing notes (yeh and Joey Writing Notes is a big surprise too) but on with the story.. She was all flirty with him and then Shane and there was a movie Blasting in the class so my head was buzzing and the last thing I needed was another 10 mins of her voice.  (I had heard just about 50 mins of it by then).. I finally said to Joey "here take my pencil, and give hers back so she will stop bitching at you"
Lenora said, "EXCUSE ME, WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME??"         All I could do was say, "Nothing" (keep in mind I was calm through out this whole argument)
She was still freaking at Joey but asking what the hell I said. He told her that I gave him the pen so she would stop bitching at him.  Lenora says "What the Hell Brittany, do YOU have an EFFING problem with me?"
I said "no not really"
Lenora: "Well if you have a problem with my friends"
me: "This has nothing to do with your friends, they dont bother me"
Lenora: "Well What's your problem with me then??"
me: "If you really want to know what my problem is with you, Um You havn't grown up"
Lenora: Oh I grew Up, Un like YOU  (she had her hand in the air and her head stuck up high)
me: Nope, Im serious I grew up
Lenora: Well My Mom (said like her mommy was going to get her outta this)
Me:Dont get your mom into this, she's got nothin to do with this
Lenora: What the hell is your problem with me?
Me: I already said I dont think you grew up and my other problem is I just dont like you. Sorry I just dont
Lenora: I am perfect, nothing is wrong with me
Me: My other problem is that you are way to into yourself and you dont think of others, be more considerite and maybe I will like you again.

(end of my convo with her) I turned around and smiled a happy smile, like I built a big bridge and got over it. I was calm though out the whole time and she was Spazzing.  p.s-->she was a lot more rude but I just dont remember the whole convo. All I know was that I ended it with the "You're too into yourself" part. She was really stunned. From then on, she hasnt looked at me since. If she does, I really could care less.
The other stupid thing was that After that class, I never said a word to any of my friends about what went on, because I didnt want to cause a hassle over some stupid little thing.  My friend Amy was all like "wow I hate that Bitch" and I just said "I dont care right now, I dont hate her because I dont hate anyone. I just wish she would learn to think of other people instead of herself and I guarantee this will be a huge rumor for the next month because she's the one who can't get over anything..
Guess what? All of her "friends" are bitchy to me but that's no surprise cuz they were always like that.. But It really dosen't bother me because I have learnt not to let things chew me up. They walk in the halls by me and say stuff like "whore" or "Bitch"  
I just think "whatever, I am the one who is behaving like an adult here"

These past few months I have been in great moods because Now I am able to handle things better.  People who I dont think have grown up, have bothered me though. It's like I dont think I should be interacting with people in Grade 11 that act like they're in grade 5 or 2.  I dont know. Just random people bother me and I dont like them because They are not grown up.. I just think I am trying to set my mind to a good spot where I know I am happy. I cant make everyone grow up. They either do or they dont. Maybe I am just doing it faster than I thought.

That's my Shpeil on my month. Sorta?
I also miss Chad, but Really I am good about it now. I realize he isn't the only person I can talk to for everything. But it's good that we can still write letters and chat that way. It makes things more exciting I think.
I havn't seen Matt in like 2 weeks.. Well that's a lie, I've seen him just not chatted with him.  I thought last Friday was the day I would ask him out, but the store was closed for rennovations. I dont even know if he is still there anymore. I feel like we blew it with eachother. But maybe not. I will just suck it up like my sister said haha.. Then I could finally ask him out :P

I should really go now, I am tired finally and my hands are cold. So it sucks.
But I will try to find another time this week to type up an entery. 

(Your Song)--by Elton John is stuck in my head right now. It's beautiful!
what a good song to fall asleep with haha.

But seriously I am going to bed now.,
Sweet Dreams (as Chadderz would always say)

P.S--> I am almost done my Movie in class.. Only one more thing to do and Spare for me!

Quote of the day: "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
By: Mark Twain

Well hows it going Jason??   I finally got to write in this journal!  Some how my password got changed? I have no clue how, but I was pretty upset. I just found it out.  And the stupid thing is that I can not put the password back to what it originally was... WHY???  Errg that's my issue right now. Oh well, atleast I have a password. But it sucks. I dont like it. But oh well.

Since November 7th, I havn't written a thing!  hmm so my past month has been overall, pretty stressful.. I guess I just need to learn how to chill out when Im buisy. School is going by like crazy, I just dont like it anymore, Seriously. I wish there was some way I could turn back time and re-start my school year. Maybe I would do some stuff different. I think that would be awesome.  I tried out for Alice in Wonderland, which is our school's production this year. Hopefully I got a part, because I just want to get over my stage fright.  It should be interesting. And even if I dont have a part where I speak, then I could be a background character!! Sounds like Tonz of fun!  

I didn't write Chadderz a letter until the 11th, but I havnt sent it until today... Im such a bad girl. I wish I had sent it earlier. We didnt find the right stamps until last weekend. I Still feel like a bad person!  I hope he doesnt think I forgot all about him!..Chad wrote me a letter, when he was in the MTC. Im so proud of him Jason!. He makes me so happy.  Chadderz send along a couple of picutres, and that made me feel special because I dont think he sends too many pictures out to people?? I dont know.   But he is doing great and now he is in Utah. Starting his Mission.  WOW. 
Hopefully he gets his letter soon, and I plan on sending another one right away so that he will get one after another one, just to make up for the letter I DIDNT SEND until now.

At my school we had a Bachelor/Bachelorette auction going on.   It is for Santa's Annonymous so we could raise money.  Such a great idea. I bought a grade 9 boy. I felt bad for the kid up on stage because no one would bid for him and the most he was bid for was a whole $25!!  Poooor kid!! So I had to scream out the 25 so he would atleast feel better about himself. The only kid that went for under $50.. SAD. And he's a cutie too.  His name is Brian. and aww when he came off stage he saw me and came to me. He was like "So ur the girl that bought me!! Thaanks!!"
I felt so happy. Even though it was only $25, I still felt like I made someone happy.

All weekend I was buisy, Buisy like crazy.  My Jazz band had a few concerts going on Since Thrusday.  We went to Keyano Thursday and played for some judges, Friday night was a concert and we watched some Jazz musicians. They were absoluetly awesome!  Saturday I woke up early and went back to Keyano and did a couple of workshops for my Saxophone. They really helped.  Then at lunchtime I went out to the Rooke with Ben and Matt. (not my matty)  ...... But we had so much fun! we played pool and just chilled out. Then we walked back to Keyano and goofed around the halls for a while. We had to change into our tuxes after lunch.  Mind you we had like 2 hours for lunch so we pretty much did nothing but goof off.  So anyway, We got in our tuxes and warmed up our instruments and Went on Stage around 3:45 pm.... Mom came to wach. WE were awesome!  I thought so anyways. It just sounds so much different on stage than it does in our band room. More room for the sound to echo i guess? 
(sorry If I'm just kind of rambling on about nothing, Im sort of tired and just not motivated much..)
But, Then .... Sunday we were up at Merc for 1:30pm and my Jazz band was playing for the Festival of Trees!.. We played better there than anywhere else. Even though the lighting sucked I think it was overall pretty shnazy.   Gramma came up to watch me play. I was so excited. That was the first time she had ever heard me play my Saxophone, except for when I am at home.   
So that was my weekend, I just hung around with my friends and played music on my horn. haha. It was fun!

Matty is getting a new Job pretty soon somewhere out at sight. I feel like an idiot because I dont know if I will see him much anymore. Its like I dont want to say anything to him but I know I have to tell him sooner or later that I like him.  I went to the store a couple of Friday's ago to visit him.. It wasnt too cold out then, but it was still chilly.  I actually went there for "gum".. That was pretty much what started our convo.  He just walked up to me and was like "WOW GUM! i need some gum" and he just grabbed it outta my hands and took a couple of pieces. I didnt care, but We had such a great chat. I swear Jason, that would have been it if I wasn't so shy.  I almost asked him out. He almost asked me out! SO CLOSE>>> but no game.  Matty started talkin about how he had to pick up a book from the parcel place.  I asked what it was called and he said it was called The Game.. And I had no clue what the heck it was about so I asked what it was... He told me it was a book on how to Pick up Women..     OH my. I couldnt help but laugh at the boy... I know Mean eh?.. But anyways, I said to him "You seriously dont need a book to pick up women, I mean Look at you, You're an amazing guy.. any girl would be lucky to go out with you"....
Matt just sorta hinted it out to me that he was going to ask me out. The whole time I was there, we were talking about how he needs a good girlfriend that he can trust and behave around.  (another hint)... And he said "My last few girlfriends were sluts, I need a nice one, someone who is pretty for who they are"
Again I just said "I know plenty of girls that would go out with you".
He asked if they were all my age... I said "well Ya"
Then he hinted to me that they might be "too young"...... I thought i wanted to smack him.
But that was his way of saying, "I dont know If i could go out with you because I dont know if you're too young" kind of thing.   I had mom pick me up from the store.... I told her all about it. She said he was trying to ask me out.. I told her I was trying to ASK HIM OUT..
And now that he's getting another Job somewhere, I wont see him as much and I dont want to miss out on my chance of asking him out... Im kind of sad and frusterated because I dont know what to do.. Mom said I should call him, but Heck no.

The funny thing is, his mom Brenda likes me and everytime she talks on the phone with my mom, she askes if I am going to ask Matty out yet?? 
mom has been tellin her about our Little Flirty situations.. Erg.. haha
Oh well, Atleast Brenda likes me. I'm not wondering if he told him mom anything either?? I dont know, just how Brenda hints it too, She makes it sound like Matt told her something, and the way Matt acts, its like him mom told him something. I dont know if that made any sence but to me It sure as heck did. haha.

BUT i am going to stop talking about Matty now..

On with Chadderz.... So the only time he had to write the letters was during his day off. I think that was only like once a week. I loved those pictures he sent to me. They were of him and his Elder. They're so awesome.    The first letter I sent to him was a letter of "I MISS YOU" kinda, but the second letter I am working on wont have that in it. I just want him to know I miss him the first time so that the next letters I would be able to stay away from that topic. I really miss him, but I am so proud of him at the same time... I havn't been on MSN since he left, so pretty much since the end of October. Pretty sad! I just can't stop going on MSN because he is gone?

Meeh.. Im bored,'
YAY I got 100% on my Career portfolio today! It took me a whole day to work on it, when really it was supposed to take me like 3 months to do... but Holy moly I didnt think I would do any good. Thank god.

I should get going now though,  My back is killing me from the way Im sitting and Mom needs help with the dishes and I am just tired of typing..

I hope I dont sound too whiney or self centered?? I hope not! I've been just sort of Crankey lately, so It kind of makes me sound like a.. Bitch.
Im workin on it though, Im better I hope.

Talk to you Later Jason hun!

P.S--> I really Miss my Sister!! I havn't talked to her forever!

P.P.S---> guess who loves Matt?? No really guess..
ME
:)

hey Mr. Jason 

Finally some time to write!!   I have been so buisy with school and helping around the house I dont even know where to start!  and I know that I said I was almost done my commercial on Halloween.. But we had a three day weekend so it kinda took up some space.... BUT seiriously, I think I will be done tomorrow.

I cant talk for long.. It's really late and I need to sleep for tomorrow. I have a huge math test in second block. I'm going to fail?  Actually I have been trying not to be such a negative bug lately. I cant stand when I get all negative and low. I need some Positive attitudes goin on here.

hmm.. Lately I've been thinking about Chadderz dear Chadderz.    I didn't write him a letter yet but I sure as heck better write him one soon. Maybe I will wait until he is actually staying in the spot he's gonna be for 2 years.  Then I know for sure if it gets to him or not.  Just incase?
But I really miss him. I havn't gone on MSN lately at night just so I can talk to Chad, so it makes it harder for me to stay awake on nights like this.  It must be because he wakes me up, the turd haha.
I am also trying to finish the story I started so he will get it as soon as possible. What will I ever do??
THINK BRITT THINK!! haha

Today was an over all pretty good day.... Gaib still has this big thing for me and I just.. I dont love like him, because I like Matty. It sounds selfish, but I really do. I feel more like I have a place with Matt than  some guy I just met this year.  I didnt ask Matt to go out with me to the movies. I TRIED SOO HARD though!.   I asked him if he had seen Saw III.  Guess what his responce was?  Oh sheesh it was.. yes. Sooo That was out of my plans. I totally thought he wouldnt have gone to see it. He's soo afraid of scary movies that.. well YOU KNOW?
I even asked him, "Aren't you afraid of Scary movies?"
he replied with, "frick yeh, I scream like a little baby.. Saw III wasn't scary, it was.. just gross sorta. I didnt like how gross it was".........
hehehe.. He never seen the first two movies yet.  That could be my back up plan. Seriously I want to try this out. I came so close to it on Thursday when I went to see him last week.  I bet he has some clue. I went to the store for no absolute reason when it was freezing cold outside and there was snow on the ground... So I walked there and got a hot chocolate and water.  I didnt see Matt so I panicked and thought I came all the way to the store for nothing, but he was just in the back room. I saw his blue vest haha. 
I paid for my stuff and called Meghan then left the store and stood outside where I always stand. There was NO one outside that needed gas, it was absolutely quiet. He came out to see me!  Well there ya go does that prove something? I Dont have a clue.  He came to see me all suspicious though. Matt asked me "soooo whatcha doin? How come you came to the store when its cold?" 
I froze. I didnt know what to say. But me coming back to witty old self around him, I just said "what do you think I came for"... haha
he just smiled at me. I told him I was bored so I went for a walk, then I was cold and decided to get a hot chocolate and warm up in the store.
He caught on thats for sure. But once I suggested That I was cold and I should go, He was in a hurry to get in. I dont blame him, I mean I FROZE outside. and He's workin out there for 13 hours a day so I would say he wanted to get inside. He told me "I suppose I will go warm up on my warm chair with the blankie" 
I just said "AWWW.... Bye Matty"
As he walked in, I whispered "I love you Matt"
Too bad I didnt have the guts to say it around him. Dont wanna freak the boy out though.  But I want to get with him fast before he is taken. Dont think I want another woman touchin my man. .. God doesnt that sound so messed up? Im not even dating the boy and I wont let another woman go around him?  That's .. bad?

But anyways I think I should go becuse its almost midnight and I neeeda PEE.   (haha I love how I just announced that I have to pee) I dont know why, I just laugh over the stupidest things, So Dont worry Im not going crazy. 

I will talk to you as soon as I can Jason!

As Chadderz always says "Sweet Dreams"

p.s--> sweet dreams Chad <3 xoxo Missez u

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

WOW Jason I am soo Happy, I am almost done my commercial for Videography! Hurray! ... No more ranting and raving from Crazy Green Giant Lawson... Green Giant because he was dressed up as that for Halloween today. He's a crazy guy. But I was surprised he wasnt going as Mr. Clean again. I mean he really pulls that one off. But the Jolly Green Giant from the frozen Pea bag worked out pretty good. 

Soo I am psyched about almost having my commercial done. I just have to edit the scenes and add some cool effects and then I just need to add the music.  Great huh?  FINALLY!
Oh yeah I listened to my sister's advice too, I asked one of my favorite teachers if I could borrow a student for three minutes. And literally it was only three minutes. But I'm really glad my sister suggested that because withought that idea I would have been stuck and still stressing about the class.   Today wasn't actually that stressful of a day.  I woke up this morning and said "I am going to have a good day and I will not let anything bother me"   It really does work when you get your brain thinking that, because then it happends.  
It was Amy and Robin's birthday today. WOW Halloween babies lol. We love to call them that, They love it too I suppose :P  (but it's not halloween babies in a bad way,  Its like they were born on that day so they're the babies of that day..) Just so u know?

Awwe Poor Alex was having a bad day today though. I felt really bad for him.  He is such a gurlie sometimes when he gets upset.. Haha I love it. But I really felt bad for him. I just hugged the poor guy to try and cheer him up. He was pouting and said "HUG."
He's such a ladies man, because he's not the type of guy where his friends are jerks either. They're all girls so he doesnt have to worry about the crazy guy thing haha. But For some reason, every girl thinks he is gay??  I used to sorta kinda think he was at first when I met him in grade 9, but that changed when I got to be close friends with him and Lauren.  He's just the kind of guy where he's a little more sensitive than "regular"... I dont mind at all, Guys are allowed to have a sensitive side, They're human too.

Everyone Dressed up for school today.. Well not everyone but a fair chunk of the people did. There was a costume where this guy was in a kissing booth and haha every girl was lined up to kiss him.. It was kind of weird but hilarious. And there was my Friend Grady and he was dressed up as the nephew from RED GREEN show. That was awesome.  There were so many creative costumes that I saw there. I wish I had the guts to dress up haha.

Right now I have such a huge headache. These pills make me sensitive to light and stuff. I don't think I want to take them anymore but I really have to unless I want to be sick all the time. 
U know what? Mr Lawson didnt Bark at me today like I thought he would. Maybe its because I escaped early before he noticed I was gone from class... That was my time for Taping the commercial.  erff Its done. The video part is done and I am glad.

Mom Saw .. Matty today. haha She told me that she went up to get some parcials for Home and Gift, and Matt was there picking up the same thing for his mom. He smiled at her.. aww. Then mom said " If I woulda known you'd be getting this stuff for your mom too, I would have had you pick it up for me haha" 
she was only joking but Matt was like " I really would have :P!"
What a sweet heart
He smiled at mom and left though.

I am going to see him Thursday. Finally going to get the courage up to ask him out.. For a movie or something?? Do you think I am absoultely crazy for wanting to go for it?  I mean I really dont want him to say no, and I especially dont want him to feel like he has to say yes!.. You know??   Im just going to put that to the side of my head and maybe on Thrusday I will wing it. I dont have school then so it is the perfect time to go and see him. I mean He kinda has it all figured out he's not stupid.  

Eewww Monique and Cassie were dressed up as faries today.. They bug me so thats why I said eww. They're the "rich Snobby Bitches".. Whatever they can be stupid all they want. They dress up as the same thing all the time. I swear they have the same clothing and stuff.. Its kinda annoying. It would be like Me an Melissa Going shopping for the exact same clothing at the same stores and going to school on purpose with the same stuff on. Its just weird.. Well not really, but I just dont like them so it makes it even worse.

Im such a cow though. I hate how I am mean to other people.. but Lately because I am in such bad moods at school I have been mean to some people I just dont care for... Like today I was a little stressed about the video because I didnt want Lawson to eat me alive... And then Abbey's friend  (who by the way is freaking annoying and I just never bothered with her before, and Abbey doesn't consider her as a friend but because their parents are friends she feels that she has to be nice to her)  Anyways..., Abbey's "friend" was walking in the hallway and just happened to Interupt when I was taping and she wouldnt shut up. So I said to her "Ok, I seriously dont like you, Go away cuz Im trying to film here, and you are just annoying the hell out of me. Seriosly I dont like you go away"... The girl was all pissed off. Good I felt whoa. not Brittany Attitude at all. I am dissapointed in myself. 
If I have problems with people like that I just usually not say anything and continue on whatever I am doing. But nooooo I had to open my stupid mouth and freakin bitch at a little grade 9.. It doesnt change my thoughts on likeing the kid though.

I guess you could say I am a little stressed out right now> That headache is pretty annoying..
EWW Bradon just sneezed on the cat and her fur moved. haha. It was funny. 

I went Tric or Treating at Margie's house.. That was the only place I went out to tonight.  I put on my HUGE  Glasses that have hearts on them. They're the huge ones that slide down my nose and have enormous frames haha. Then I put on Cat ears and two different shoes and hobbled down the road and I even had a little Sandwitch bag for my candy.  It was such a small bag. I could only fit in a couple chocolate bars. haha Margie got a good laugh at it. SO did Mr.Carl haha.. We call him Mr Carl or Mr margie sometimes.


You Know Jason, This whole Chad being gone is really kicking in. Not Emotionally but.. I feel just lonely I suppose?? Its just weird not to talk to him on the computer at night or Text him here and there. I even tried to write him a couple letters, but I just cant seem to say much. Its just weird. I dont know what the matter is with me. maybe this all just happened so soon.... Just wait, We will be counting down a whole new time soon. (him coming home)

I am sick of eating Candy from tonight. I didnt go tric or treating but I handed out the candy and I munched on a few chocolate bars and stuff... Meggy Bear and Caity Poo came over tonight. I stole some of the candy haha. YUMM.
I was a very good Ninja I must say.

But I think I am going to leave it as that. I am pretty pooped out so Time for bed.

I hope tomorrow is a good day. My horoscope tells me to be careful of what I say tomorrow or I will have people on my back trying to get me. Or something bad like that. But I am really just going to keep my mouth shut tomorrow.. You never know! haha
Oh ya another funny thing today was seeing Mitch Dressed up as a scuba Diver. He had the whole body suit and everything. Including the flippers. Poor guy he couldn't get into his costume. But he's sooo skinny!  His face was pudgy from the head part. haha I laughed at him.. Aww Poor Mitchy.
And another thing.. Ben had these really comfortable pants and they were Pink Floyd haha. He kept saying to people "come feel my awesome soft pants. they're comfy"  I had to feel them before I came home. I need a pair of those.  WAL-MART  heck yes.. That's where Im getting them. He said they have all kinds of bands and famous people on the pants. Soft PJ pants. We're gonna plan a day and wear them at the same time so we can feel eachother's pants.. i know it sounds creepy hahah But Its just funny. Ben isn't usually like that. He's more the quiet guy. But he's commin around. I knew him since grade 9. I can't wait for the Jazz band trip because everyone That is fun goes on it. Not the annoying people in the Concert band lol. im such a meanie sometimes :P

But Seriously I needa go now Im poopered out..  I will talk to you later!  Hopefully I can get a letter sent out to Chadderz in no time. Maybe I will just send him one for the place he is staying at. Instead of having to send it to the training place. He might miss it. 

I will see you later Aligator

And As Chad always says,
Sweet Dreams

This is one of my Favorite Quotes because it reminds me of Chadderz..

Quote of the day: 
*We are all travellers in the wilderness of the world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.*

Well My friend Jason, That quote is completely True..  Chad always loved to Travel on his weekends and the more he travelled the more we became closer friends. And now that he is a Missionary I hope we continue to build our friendship even though we can only send letters to eachother.  
On Sunday, I went up to his church and watched his farewell. It was.. very hard to watch him go, but I am so proud of him. I think I cried even more than his mom did there.... And he's her son haha.  I wish I knew I could have hugged him before he was blessed because then I would have felt like I said my good bye for 2 years. Atleast it would have taken some of the stress from me. But Unfortunately I was un aware of that.. So when he was blessed he got to shake everyone's hand and I went to give him a hug. He pulled away and said "nope sorry Britt, Only Shaking hands from this day on.. Sorry"...

I think that's kind of what made me upset more than anything.  But the people at the church are all so nice and make you feel welcome, so I got to know a few people who are very close with Chad and they hugged me instead. That made me feel better. Atleast I got to hug someone.  I met the Bishop and I think he is definately a great guy. When I saw him with Chad, I thought that he was like a father to him. I wish he was his father actually. I also met Suzie.  I really like her, She is so nice and friendly. I hope Chad Marries her when he gets back !!  I will be on his case when he does come back for sure!

Oh yeh I don't think I told you about me going to Keyano for School all day.. It was a couple of weeks ago.   It was kind of like a career choice prep thing where they have different programs set up to help you decide what you want to do when you graduate.  I chose Nursing and Instrumental Repair.      I didnt like the Instrumental repair as much as Nursing.. dont get me wrong, they were both really fun, but I think I would get bored of fixing up different instruments after a few months.  If I was a nurse than I would be helping people. That's something I would love to do. And its not like I can't do it either.. I have been figuring out what kinds of courses I need to graduate and take that course.  Hopefully I can earn a Scholarship through Band or something and that way I can atleast pay for part of My Future Education.  
For the Nursing Program, we learnt how to give people needles, check blood pressure, check reflexes, the different sences of the body and how to make an IV bag.  All the stuff was so fun. and real. 

Sheeesh  its been forever since I have told you things.. I didnt even fill you in on Matty yet.     Wellllll... I LOOOOVE THAT BOY as you know.  But HIS MOM KNOWS TOO!.. So obviously he isn't stupid, because I think he's got it all figured out too.  My mom and I were taking a drive one night and she had to drop off some catalogues to Brenda's house (matty's mom)... So She made me go up to the door and give them to her. Thank God Matt wasnt home. I dont know what I would have done if he answered the door!  But Brenda was chattin with Mom while mom was in the vehicle and Brenda was at her door step.. So technically they were shouting back and fourth so they could hear eachother. I was just standing on her balcony feeling all akward. Then she asked how I was doing. I said "oh im doing pretty good.."  But me being a dumb ass, Instead of me asking how she was, I asked "how's Matt doin?"    She kinda looked suspicious but in a funny way. So she told me all that was goin on with her boy. I had to go to Tae Kwon-Do so mom and Brenda said goodbye to eachother and I didnt feel so Akward anymore standing up on the balcony.... BUT  Brenda walked outside again and shouted out to me "Hey Brittany!!??  I can Feel the Affection between you and Matt. I think I should get you two to go out for a movie.. Or even Better Yet, How about you ask him because he's such a shy guy!"................
I WAS LIKE OMFG? WHAAATT?? hahaahahah   wow that was hilarious too because Mom was just sitting in the car laughing her head off. And if Matty had pulled up and heard that, Then I would have died of Imbarassment for sure. 
BUT, I went to see him at the store a couple days after that happened and I said to him "soo i was at your house a couple days ago, did your mom say Hi to you for me??"    
And he just beamed and said in a way like he knows something "Ohhh yeh, She *Told* me"
The way he said Told.. That gave it away.  And then I went to the store again a day or so later and he bumped into me and said "heeey Britt hows it goin?" which he normally doesnt do.. But I like it because it feels like old times when we used to work together.
Another thing he normally doesnt do.. I was walking and I saw him driving by but he had a buddy in the truck with him.. Normally he's all shy to wave because his friend is in the truck, but He was waving and smiling at me. So obviously his buddy's gonna ask "whos she?"

Meeh Thats my Matty Stories for now.

Im still pretty sad about Chad leaving. Today he left on his flight around 8:30 am or so. I feel sooo lucky and special to sit in on his blessing. As my sister told me it's usually only family and really close friends that get to sit in on that.  But At first I felt weird like I wasn't supposed to be in that tiny room.  I had noo clue what was going on. But the Bishop just pulled me in and told me to sit down. He seemed friendly about it, so I knew I wasnt in trouble haha.   I never seen Chadderz cry so much.  But I am so proud of that boy, My Sir Thompson the Mighty.  Looong story short, one night we were goofing off on MSN and we just came to the conclusion that Chad is more of a knight so I always call him Sir Thompson. I am even making up a story for him so he can read while he's gone. He tole me he was expecting it in the mail some time..   He also said "I bet you're gonna be the first person to mail me.!"
Ohh damn rights I will haha.


I have been sooo stressed out lately. I need to cut back on extra activities and I have to learn to say NO sometimes.  My week starts off with Tae Kwon-Do on Monday's and Fridays. Tuesday's and Thrusday's I have Jazz band after school but Also on Thrusday's  I babysit for a family. Wednesday I get back from school and Almost instantly I am out the door for Work ( i like work though, it's time for me).. Then on Saturday's I also work about 6 hours. Sunday's are the only time I have to myself. Even then its booked solid with homework that I can't complete because I get so stressed out with not having me time.  I try my hardest to get good grades at school and be a perfect student but some days I just want to scream and shout at my teachers. They can be stupid too some times. But I guess I am not going to complain much on that one. I need to go to school with a better attitude some days. That's hard though because I am usually sad to wake up because I had such a bad sleep the night before. So now I am on 3 different medications to help calm me down or supposidly treat me for an ulser and to help me stop throwing up when I get stressed out all the time. That's the worst part about being stressed out. I can't eat and when i do it just comes right back where I had put it!. This medication is helping with the food part, I am eating normally pretty much now and I can digest stuff better so It reduces the throwing up part.  As for Mood swings, I think i just get those because I dont get good night sleeps all the time.  Like for right now  I should be in bed.. But I am typing away. BAD me Bad me.


My Best Friend invited me to her Sweet 16. I am sooo excited!!  We are having the whole day withought adults. Its just friends and Fun.   First we are going out for Lunch, then we have free manicures at the spa, after that a Limousine ride around town for an hour or 2.. then the best part.... STAYING IN A HOTEL!!! OVER NIGHT WITH NOOOO PARENTS~!!!! woooot wooot.   Noo I know what you're thinking.. We are going to get plastered and party. But NOPE We are just going to have a good time hanging out with eachother. You don't need Alcohol to have fun. Besides we're all under aged too. And we're really not those type of people much.   That's on Friday. I am soo Psyched. I cant wait.   Only one problem, i dont know what to get her for her birthday?? I think because its her sweet 16 I want to get something she will love.  
Wow she sure had a better sweet 16 than I did.... I didnt even have friends over haha. Just family! Not complaining on that one much  because I loved it and all, but looking back on it now I would have had a b-day party.

I am definately cutting back on some of the things I do every day of my crazy life. I would love to be able to wake up and say "Today is going to be great, Nothing and No one will get to me"   But it just seems too weird to say that. I think that because our house is finally feeling more like Home again, I can start to relax little by little here. We have a family room downstairs almost all ready now. We can watch TV down there and we have new furnature so its great to relax in.  

Oh Yeh I also forgot, I loved that Jill was at the Church on Sunday too because she really helped me out. She is definately a fun person to be with. And Emma is soo beautiful. Such a personality she has and at 6 months too.  Seeing Emma made me more Excited for My Sister to have her baby. I think she's going to be the best mommy in the whole world!  And Craig will be The Best Dad in the world too!  They're so much fun to be around.   
haha I even said to Koreyan the other night on the phone   "I remember when you brought home the baby from school that had the key to turn it on and off!!"
Now its For real. Im so happy for her.   hahah But some days I bet she will wish the baby had a key to turn it on and off :P    
Craig is making a room for the baby and Koreyan is NOT allowed to see!  I bet she reallly wants to see it. but in the end It will be such a surprise. Craig is a cutie with all this, He loves the fact that he's going to be a daddy.  I just hope he's being a good hubby for my sister, and listening to what she says and gets what she needs!! haha.  
Poor guy's been stressing out too.  Kore said she married her sister hahaha. That is too funny.
I hope he is able to calm down too some nights and just have time for Himself. His school year sounds pretty stressfull.  So does Koreyan's. Those Bratty Grade 8 students. I wish I was down there... I would sure teach them a lesson! They dont mess with my sister. And they specially wont wanna mess with me. I will. . ..hurt them?. grr. Kids. haha..  Like seriously I can Just picture me going to the school and Sitting in on a class and pretending to be a little Grade 8 student that's new to the class. I want to see how these kids act u know?   I will scare them hehe
Naah Im not scary enough to scare those stupid grade 8 kids, but I just hope they stop giving my sister greif. 

Uh oh Auntie Carmen is comming up soon??..... Not that I dont want her to come up, its just that she.. still thinks I am a little kid who's like 6 years old.  Nope Sorry Auntie I grew up.   I miss her and all, I just dont want her to treat me like a baby. I want to be treated like a young adult. I know she loves us like Crazy. I love her like Crazy too.   But im not 2 anymore.

Gramma is driving us MENTAL.. She was treating Sabrina  (scott's Bitch)   like she hated her and like Uncle Scott's house was her house and Sabrina couldnt live in it.  Actually I kind of had Sabrina figured out from the minute I heard her name.  Mom told me all about Scott's Girlfriend who he is going to marry  and as soon as she said the name SABRINA.. I just knew. 
I told mom everything that I thought. I said " Sabrina sounds like she's going to be a whore, Im sorry to say but I dont think she is going to be a good wife for Uncle Scott. Plus she sounds like she's an alcoholic and a Drug addict.. And the name makes her sound like she sleeps around a lot."
WHO CALLED IT???  I was soooo right.  God I have to stop labelling people some times. But really That was the best one so far. I didnt even meet the chick and I guessed everything about her. And then some.  How impressive I must say?

Oh yeh I am not saying anything bad about the Name Sabrina, I just thought that For Uncle Scott to find someone named Sabrina, then that would mean trouble.... not every Sabrina is bad you know!! haha.
That would be just like putting a label on Britney Spears.. Not every Britney or Brittany is Stupid.  *I had an evil smile then*  I sound like  a turd now. I think I will stop being one haha

WOW that actually helped relieve some extra stress that was bottleing in.. What else do I have??

Hmm I am Almost failing Math.. Well 48 %.. But once I hand in my work booklet I will get atleast a 60 or something like that. The next test is going to be freakin hard.  I dont see the point of me learning how to use a graphing calculator in that class.. Or just pretty much anything in that class. But I still go to it and learn and try to do my best. I dont want to fail. I can not fail.

Mr. Lawson is being an idiot as usual.....
3 classes with him is really too much. But I deal with it. 

Soo Mr. Podor isn't really the monster I thought he was. He really doesnt hate me. I was kind of just afraid of him.. Until Parent teacher interviews. That changed the class for me. I dont feel so worried to go there anymore. And now I can enjoy the class better too.

Man these pills are making my mouth dry.. Thought I would just add that haha. Dont ask me why?
 OHH another fun thing!!!
I went to my friend Amy's Sweet 16 Last Friday. It was awesome!  We had pizza for supper and watched a movie.. But I fell asleep during the movie. I took the 3 pills for the first time that night and I didnt mean to, I dont think?   And then It just made me feel like Crap but Kind of like I felt Great too!  I know I wouldnt know anything about this, but I kind of felt like I could have been really drugged up.. as in like Stoned or something. Just the way the pills made me feel. It was actually freaky because mom had to come and get me. I was shaking and I couldnt really walk. People were helpin me up the stairs and stuff. Then I was alright for a while until I sat down and started to zone off into another world. I heard laughing and I saw Amy's mom giggling at me because of the faces I had been making when I was day dreaming. It was just a blank stare too....She said "whatever you took for medication, I would LOOVE SOME"
haha.  Mom arrived and helped me get home and then I went strait to bed. It was only like 8:30 too. But I fell asleep for atleast 4 hours until around 11:00pm.. I woke up and was up for about 10 minutes just to get my pj's on and brush my teeth and I went to bed in mom's room.. I slept like a rock.   
That was the only time I took those pills all at once. Note to Self: NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN.. It was weird.
But the Party was fun from the time I was there.

I got my hair Died on Friday. Its kind of like a burgendy but it's still nice and red. I love it! and my hair feels so soft and stuff too.

WOW I really should get to sleep now  cuz I have school tomorrow.. Oh welll Only 2 more Get ups. Then YAY  Thrusday and Friday off. hurray.

It felt really good to explode this all over the page. I just needed something to help me explain everything. I feel SOO MUCH BETTER NOW. You wouldnt believe. I think I might just have a super sleep tonight. No stress for me. Much?

But Any Who, I am going to hit the hay.   time for Dream land.

As Chadderz would always say
"Sweet Dreams"
xoxo
(miss yah)

P.S-->Matty.. is awesome. <3 LOVE

Quote of the day: Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.

Hey Jason hows it going??? I hated my weekend.. Well part from the fact that I worked and I love work. But literally I did nothing but sit on my fat ass and eat food all day long.! EWW. I hate doing this. I eat like a piggy and For some reason I really dont know how much weight I have gained but I feel like a porker.  

Speaking about Pork.. Or just about any other animal except for chicken, I hate to eat that too. For some reason I have just developed this weird thing that makes me not want to eat meat. I think it was biology class.   The things that make me not want to eat haha. Eww I just dont like pig anymore. Or Sometimes Beef, and I can only stomach chicken. I hope i don't become vegetarian..  Just Chicketarian maybe haha?

WOW CHAD'S LEAVING IN 7 DAYS...... I remember when him and I were counting down from like 55, then 20... and 10.. now its 7.  He told me that pretty soon we will be counting down from a whole new timing.. And he's right. Pretty soon he will be gone on his trip and before we know it, two years will be gone and he'll be coming home. Thats just another bright side to look forward to this whole thing. I am actually really excited for him.  I want Chadderz to know that I think of him as my brother..... He sorta invited to me to his farewell, but I really dont know when it is and I havnt talked to him since last week sometime. So I am really worried that we wont be able to send letters because we will forget to exchange addresses. I just worry too much, but I would really hate to forget that. I have no other way to get ahold of him besides msn.. But i am also not so sure if I can just "Show up" to his farewell??   Am I allowed to just go there? Will he be mad?  I dont think so because he sorta invited me.   I have no idea what to send in the mail. Like around Christmas, do I send a Card and some stuff to go with it?? I just dont know!  I will have to talk to my Sister about that. Maybe she can help me think of ideas?? I would love that. I Miss my sister tonz!!
I called her on the weekend but there was no answer and I left a message.. But I really miss her!! I just called to see what they were up to and how everything was and if she still likes her job?  And I wanna know how she's doing with the baby. I hope everything is going great. <3

I saw Matty today driving by. I didnt wave.. I was buisy. But I just really miss him too. We havn't talked since last Friday.. Practically 2 weeks ago?!  I want to see how he's doing too. Mom was talkin to Brenda not too long ago and she said Matt was takin it pretty bad. I don't blame him. I just feel really bad and I wish there was something I could do to help him out.  

Mr. L is goinna chew me another butt hole tomorrow when he finds out that I didnt finish my stuff in Videography. GRR. He's such a woman sometimes. I actually think he is worse than a woman when she PMS'.... He is bad like that sometimes. haha... one day he will have it comming for him. Just not by me. :P

*im so evil* muhaha

Some of my friends are talking to me on msn but I dont want to respond back right now. I am actually just relaxing before I go to bed.  And I also have to get up early in the morning so It may suck to get up.  I think I should get to bed soon.... But I am waiting to see if Chadderz will go on msn tonight?  He usually goes on around 8:30 or so but now that he is finished his job, I dont know when he will be around.  Pooey.  I will just have to hunt that boy down. Only not really.

I have been so tired lately. I think my week is catching up to  me.. I am glad we have no School Friday because of the Parent Teacher Interviews... Im glad they're on Weds and Thurs so mom can meet my stupid CALM teacher.. Like literally she is the dumbest person I have ever met. And I dont say that about people.. But this chick isn't even blonde and she's the stupidest person EVER.............. She makes everyone in the class mad because we do nothing. It actually gets really boring when we do nothing and have to sit in her class.. We complain about it sometimes and she just doesn't hear. Mom said if I dont feel like I am being taught the right way I can go see Quigs about it.. But i dont know if I want to be the Bitch who has to do it? I mean some of her stupidness is not all of her fault, it's part of the class' fault..> Well not really. but sheesh I would have figured the dumb broad would have a little sence in her stupid space invader head. Whats in her head by the way?? A piece of lint? Most likely.

Chad isn't going on line tonight I can tell because its getting late.  I think I am going to crash myself because I am so tired. I can't belive how tired I am.  Tonight we went to Jan and Harry's house for supper and I fell asleep on Chelsea's bed. That's how tired I was. Unbelievable.  OHH WELL haha.

I will talk to you later Jason.! xoxo

Good Night and Sweet Dreams (as Chad always says)